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Relieving Prom Anxiety

A prom is usually an unforgettable occasion. Even adults far removed from their high-school years tend to remember the event—what they wore, who their date was, where they went afterwards, and whether or not they attended the dance.

A panel of Michigan principals assembled by the Michigan Association of Secondary School Principals (MASSP) recognizes how special proms can be for high-school students. The principals also have suggestions that can lessen prom anxiety for both parents and students.

Most importantly, the principals say, parents should stick to their standards as their kids plan pre- and post-prom activities. Knowing that rules won’t be relaxed for the occasion can help children cope with peer pressures related to prom night.

Here are more tips offered by the educators to help ensure a safe and successful prom:
  • Recognize that prom is designed for junior and senior high-school students. Underclassmen are not necessarily ready to experience the event.

  • Set a reasonable budget in advance for prom expenses (the dress or tuxedo, dinner, prom tickets, accessories, after-prom activities, etc.)-æand stick to it.

  • Remember that all school rules remain in effect for prom night and after-prom activities, and are likely to be enforced. This includes abiding by the school dress code when choosing prom attire.

  • If you haven’t already done so, have that special talk with your child about making healthy, appropriate lifestyle choices when it comes to sex, alcohol, and drugs.

  • Empower your child to say “no” by blaming you--æas well as the fear of dire consequencesæif he or she is pressured by peers to break rules (“I can’t do that! My parents will kill me!”)

  • Don’t be afraid to say “no.” This isn’t a time to turn your child loose, lift curfews, or bend rules. For example, some parents believe it’s okay for students to rent hotel rooms for after-prom parties. Michigan principals strongly oppose this practice, and also caution parents not to provide alcohol for students.

  • Talk with other parents and become informed about what’s officially planned by the school for prom night. Know the timing of the activities, your child’s itinerary, and set a curfew.

  • Meet with your child and his or her date well before prom night to discuss your expectations and theirs.

  • Encourage group or double dating for all prom-related activities. Or, if your child doesn’t have a date, encourage him or her to attend with friends anyway. This isn’t unusual anymore, say the principals.

  • Don’t allow your child to schedule the pre-prom dinner at an out-of-town restaurant. Insist on a nearby dinner location.

  • If your child and his or her friends rent a limousine for prom night, be sure to meet the limo driver and inquire about the limo company’s rules.

  • Encourage attendance at organized post-prom activities.

  • Despite what your child may tell you, be aware that most schools welcome parents to either chaperone at prom, or drop in and view the decorations.

The Michigan Association of Secondary School Principals, founded in 1911, is the statewide society representing principals and assistant principals in middle schools, high schools, and vocational centers. With more than 2,000 members, including 96 percent of public high school principals, MASSP’s mission is to improve secondary education in Michigan through leadership, research, and promotion of standards of excellence.
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